Bites of Steele English
by functional
Summary: After Daniel's death Remington Steele still has a lot of unanswered questions and kind of a crisis. Laura tries very hard to help. If you want to read more, please let me know.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

The sky was overcast with heavy clouds. Rain and fog made it impossible to see the horizon. The daylight did not really show up and the evening darkness came early. The bleakness of the weather had a great impact on the character of the Irish people. Even the buildings and their architecture were examples, Ashford Castle being no exception. The cold and roughness of the nature was present in the old walls and lead to depression and resentment of the inhabitants. Within it's 500 year history the castle had seen a lot. It outlived a lot of owners who did not properly take care of it. It was only because of the patience and generosity of the businesspeople in town and the dedication of the employees, that the castle still showed some dignity and beauty. Now the new owner had been living there for a couple of days and he was already sure he would not and could not keep the castle. During these couple of days a lot had happened and put him and his wife through quite a trial.

Laura Holt-Steele, as she called herself after the unfortunate wedding, woke up in the middle of the night in her old and cold bedroom. She was alone in her bed. Dozily she let her eyes wander through the room until they set on a forlorn person in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a warming blanket to have some protection against the cold. "Oh come on, Harry!" she called out and walked over to him. After he found out Daniel was his real father, Laura decided to call him Harry, too. "Mr. Steele" was not an appropriate name for a husband and was most likely to bring nothing but difficulties. She did not like "Remington" as a real name and "Remy" made her think of a pretty, but stupid and evil-minded cheerleader. Laura assumed, Daniel had a reason to call her husband Harry so she decided to do the same. Remington Steele would continue his work as Remington Steele, and this would just support Laura's idea of keeping business and pleasure strictly apart.

But now, in the middle of the night he was her husband Harry. And good old Harry was sitting in front of the fireplace, staring into glow going out, as he did all the previous nights. Laura was mad. She could not stop thinking of Tony Roselli. Though he definitely lacked style and beauty but she missed his cheerfulness and vitality even more, now that Harry threatened to drown in sorrow and gloom more and more every day.

"Harry?" she asked as she sat down right next to him. "For how long do you think you will continue with this?" He lifted his head and Laura saw that he had been crying again over Daniel's final letter. "Oh come on", she said. Maybe to comfort him, but the annoyance in her voice betrayed her. "You know what, let's go back to Los Angeles. The sunshine will be good for your disturbed mood and if it won't get better soon we'll find some professional help for you. All those dull thoughts can't help you. Get over it!" Shakily Steele rose to his feet. „Laura, it seems to me you are not able to take my problems for serious. My entire life I was – incomplete. I lack something that everybody in this world takes for granted. Just because you gave me a – actually extremely silly – name does not mean this is my real name. And not my real life. I am so sick of always having to borrow things. Especially identities. Now you call me Harry. Why not Gordon or Mick, Douglas or Tony? It is so degrading! For me there is no happiness in this world as long as I do not know who I really am and where my family is. You may just go back to L. A., but I will stay here and try to find my ancestors."


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for your patience with my lack of language skills.

Chapter 2

Laura had enough of Ireland and the castle. But she definitely was not ready to go back to L. A. all alone. How strange would it be to return without her husband, people might keep asking dumb and curious questions she did not want to answer. And she was also way too distrustful to leave Harry in Ireland without a chance to supervise and knowledge about his actions. It probably would fit right into his plans to get rid of her and investigate all by husband's melancholy got her infected, the country and the weather just added to her gloom.

Remington Steele sat at his new favourite place, an old armchair by the fireplace and re-read the letter he had found in Daniel's drawer again and again. The letter was intended to clear the situation after Daniel's death, if they had not had any chance to talk.

_Dear Harry,_

_I can't tell you how much you mean to me and how important your well-being always was to me. And this is the reason I have to relief myself writing this letter._

_When I found you on the streets it was easy for me to gain your heart and your trust. You were lonely and full of anger and rage. Mad at the people, who should have taken good care of you, teaching you how to find a place in life. Instead of fulfilling their duties all of them just sent you away with all the pain, fear and misery of your young years. You have – understandably, of course - kept suffering from that for your entire life, building up quite some hatred and fury. The wall you built was always so present, I never found the courage to tell you the truth. _

_The truth is, you are my son. There are no doubts, I made a test. But instead of being a good father I was just an aging con man and a pickpocket, a cheating and lying coward._

_In my younger years in London I happened to meet a wonderful and beautiful Irish maiden, her beauty is still present in my mind. You got the major part of your appearance from her side, gladly. First it was a one-night stand, neither of us had considered it possible for her to get pregnant so soon. When her parents got news of it they ordered her home. I hardly know more about her than her first name and that her family came from somewhere near Dublin. Her parents were quite wealthy, but because of her shameful pregnancy Caitlin, your mother, brought disgrace to her family. In London she wanted to prove that she was able to live alone and take care of herself. I was a reckless and brainless rapscallion at this time, did not even think I possibly could get caught one day. And this made me careless. So things just happened as they had to be and I was sentenced to jail and lost contact with Caitlin. When I got out of jail it was way too late. I never managed to find out more about her or her whereabouts. I was searching for a long time, without any success._

_I hope you will one day be able to forgive me my cowardly behaviour and will be able to concentrate on your new life with Linda. Maybe you will finally manage to build love and confidence upon your grief. _

_I'm proud of you, I wish you had had a father, worthy to be called a father. _

_Daniel_

Even after being read fort he tenth time this letter brought tears of despair and sadness into Harry's eyes. Tears of all the lost chances and a forlorn childhood and the search for belonging in this world. The lonely years had made him the man he was. Especially after seeing Laura as an anchor in his troubled life it hurt that she was not able to see how much he was being tormented and suffering. But he had to do something. Dublin was a big city, alright, but not that big. If he took his time, he could check all the entries in the register office and maybe his chances were not even so bad.

Laura went for a walk to get her head clear. On her path around the little lake close to the castle she finally tried to see the beauty of the Irish landscape and nature. All the rain left the grass slightly wet and a green so deep she had never seen before. Little drops of water where glowing and it looked to her like she had found a treasure. Just a few weeks ago she had not been able to believe that her world could be turned around so much. Mr. Steele seemed to be the man she could trust and share the burden life brings. It took long enough. For many people childhood and youth are a time of disappointment and humiliation, of loneliness and fear to be abandoned. Laura and Harry had not made a difference. But it was still different. Both of them had been abandoned. Growing up with that experience for both of them meant to cope with a burden of pain, even a lot of adults were not able to handle. Laura had been proud of her accomplishments and that she had found her way out of the hole of doubt, self-pity and desperate longing to be loved. A couple of weeks ago she had been more than glad to become Harry's wife and have a caring and loving husband by her side, in good times as well as in bad times. But in her life things never turned out as she hoped them to. Everything went wrong, right from the beginning. She felt Harry trusting her. She was aware that his life had been everything but not easy. But she was as well aware, that she had failed as being a supportive and loving wife. Tony Roselli had mad a great impression, but he was not real either. Laura straightened. It did not make any sense to reject this country. It was her husband's home. It did not make any sense to trust this marriage, they just had a lot of work ahead of them. It did not make any sense to regret the time with Toni Roselli, he just used her fear and uneasiness to his advantage. May the agency be in need of her work, this here was more important. Harry had been a wanderer without name or family for too long a time, it was his right to take the time and look for marks of his history. And Laura accepted it as her duty to support and comfort him. Mildred would have to fly back and take care of the agency. She would stay here, not matter how much time it needed.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry's behaviour was defenitely nothing any wife could accept in any husband and he was aware of himself being a burden in his depressive and lethargic state of mood. But he was not able to change that. The past weeks had been very hard on him and is nonchalant humor had become more and more sarcastic. He could not hide how emotionally drained he was. Laura was suffering. He put too much on her.

It was hard enough for her to get along with her troubled childhood and she was no longer willing to dedicate her life to solving Harry's traumatic childhood problems. Harry decided to free her from any and all of his problems, depressions by honestly and officially declaring himself a fraud and turning himself in to the authorities because of forcing Laura into a fake wedding. He would make sure that the whole responsibility was put on him so that she could be free to live a better and happier life after all.

He was pacing restlessly in his living room when the door silently opened and Laura entered. Looking into his dumbfounded and bleary eyes she was not sure if she could keep up with the promise she had given herself, but finally she straightened her shoulders and bit on her lower lip to prevent herself from saying things she might later regret. She approached him and took his hand. "Harry", she softly murmured, "we have to talk. Come on, sit down." Surprised he allowed her to lead him to the couch. "In good times as well as in bad times", she recited. "Isn't that what a normal couple promises in a normal wedding ceremony? Wouldn't it be a shame to give up right after the first of bad times?" Harry had to swallow hard not to break out into tears again. Laura added: "I decided to be nothing but honest from now on, even if at times this might be hard on you. But it is our only chance. So. We already debated and argued enough about deportation and the fake wedding ceremony. What we still are not over is Tony Roselli. To be honest- he fascinated me a lot. I didn't feel I could trust you. It took me a long time to realize he was using my uneasiness to destroy our relationship." Harry took Lauras hand in his. "Oh my, Laura, I never thought you would stand up to me like this. I was so scared you wouldn't want me any longer. I know how hard it is for you to spend time here in Ireland. But I have to stay here and search. I can't help, but this time I have the feeling I might find something. Please, stay with me. I need you. First, because I love you and second, I am lost without your serendipity." Laura couldn't help but smile. They decided to go to Dublin for a couple of days and start there to look for Harry's family.

They started at the register office and scanned through all entries from about 35 years ago. At least a little clue they got from Daniel. But it seemed they would not succeed. No women named Caitlin had given birth to a son. So they decided to go back even further and hoped to find a birth certificate of Harry's mother. Since they had no idea what year she had been born it was like searching a needle in a haystack. On the third day their work was rewarded and they found the birth of a Caitlin Doherty in a yellowed book. She was born in 1931 as daughter of Bronagh and Padraic Doherty. The address was given and immediately the investigators continued their work there. They found an old and weathered estate, quite picturesque and charming, but in need of restoration. When he saw the properties, Harry could not help but thinking of a stack of unpaid bills.

When they rang the doorbell an elderly women opened the door. She was definitely too old to be Harry's mother. "Good morning, Mrs. Doherty?" Laura asked. The old lady first eyeballed her, then Harry. Looking into his blue eyes she froze. "O my god!" she yelled and went pale with shock. Mr. Steele could just catch her before she hit the ground. "Looks like we have a lead", he stated and carried the woman into her house. Her living room was easy to be found, he carefully laid her down on a sofa. It did not take her long to come back to her senses. Her cheeks regained some color and she started talking. "Please forgive me my unworthy welcome", she apologized sitting up. "It is just so amazing. If you weren't a man I had thought Caitlin was standing right in front of me. Caitlin. Do you know Caitlin?" Everything in Harry's head was spinning.


End file.
